I can't do this without you
by Scared Swan
Summary: Prompt: "You need to wake up because I can't do this without you."


**Prompt from belamygrifin over on tumblr: Bellarke + 20: "You need to wake up because I can't do this without you."**

**YES VERY GOOD I CAN WORK WITH THAT ! Thank you for this, and I hope you like what I've done with it!**

**Rated: K**

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He finds her about five miles from camp. She looks wild, her hair dirty and tangled, her face swollen and bloody; five months in the wild have not been kind to her. She's lost her Grounder armor, and is wearing clothes made from all different kinds of animals. He barely recognizes her, he'd barely even seen her between the high grass. He says her name, falling to his knees beside her, but she doesn't reply. She isn't even conscious, her breathing barely detectable, and his heart soars in his throat.

No.

This is _not_ how he was supposed to find her. This is _not_ how he was supposed to get her back.

Within two minutes, he has her hauled up in his arms and he is running back towards Camp Jaha, muttering to her to stay with him and hold in. He's back in camp in half the time as it had taken him to get to where Clarke was, yelling for a medic. Jackson is the first to reach them, two medics and a stretcher with him, and they are only mildly taken aback when it's Clarke that he holds in his arms.

"Help her!" Bellamy manages before he collapses, his side aching, his lungs burning and Jackson takes Clarke to medic. Bellamy aches to go after them, but he's too exhausted.

"Bellamy!" Octavia yells, running up to him and squatting in front of him. "What's wrong? Who did you bring back?"

"C-Clarke." he mutters, closing his eyes and gasping for breath. "I f-found her. She was unconscious, all bloody…O, what if she dies?"

Octavia shakes her head, looking about as broken as he feels. "No, Bell, shhh." She wraps her arms around him and holds him tightly. "Clarke's strong. She's lasted five months out there. She survived so much. She'll survive this."

Bellamy nods, pushing back burning tears. "I need to go to her."

"Wait, Bell. Let Abby do her job. Let's get you cleaned up first, you're covered in dirt and blood."

He doesn't really want to clean up, doesn't actually care, but lets O guide him to the makeshift showers, where she strips him to his underwear and pushes him in one of the cubicles. The cold water refreshes him a bit, and he works as fast as he can, so that he can go to Clarke and see how she's doing. O hands him a towel when he finishes and hands him his only clean set of clothes. He spots his hunting clothes in the bucket of water where they wash their clothing. "Go to her. I saw Abby outside just now, so I think they're about done."

Bellamy kisses O's forehead in silent thanks and then sprints to medical, ignoring shouts from his friends, inquiring what is happening. He doesn't respond, doesn't have the time. Clarke has precedence above everything right now. He bursts into medical and immediately spots her, lying on a cot, looking cleaner, and a lot better. "How is she?" he asks Abby who is cleaning her hands in the back.

"She's extremely weak." says Abby, looking troubled and in pain. "She was attacked, took a rough beating, and is extremely malnourished. The cuts on her face were infected, she has a broken ankle and she has multiple sunburns on her arms and chest. She's in a bad state, Bellamy."

Bellamy gulps in a breath, and closes the distance between him and Clarke's cot. "But she looks better now."

"Yes. The physical wounds we could treat. But we can't wake her, and if she doesn't wake up soon, we can't feed her. We don't have drips here, we can't force food down her throat. If she doesn't wake up, she'll die from starvation."

Bellamy falls to his knees beside her, taking her hand in his. "Oh Clarke." he whispers, leaning his forehead to their clasped hands. "What can we do?"

"The only thing I can think of is epinepherine, that should be able to wake her. But we don't have that, and Lincoln doesn't know how to make it in the Grounder-way. He's trying to get in touch with Nyko, but…" she trails off, and Bellamy knows why. Lincoln isn't popular among the Grounders, and ever since Lexa betrayed them, the relations between the Grounders and the Sky People hadn't been all that well. The chances of them finding some before Clarke…

He can't even think it.

He sighs, racking his brain for another solution. Epinepherine, where has he seen that before? A flash of Maya, the harvest room and his blood rushing to his brain, and he knows. "In Mount Weather! Maya used it to wake me up when I was up side down. Send someone to get it! There _has_ to be more!"

Abby springs in action, nodding along to what he's saying. "I'll put a team together, watch over her."

As if he is going anywhere.

Clarke's chest rises and falls with every shallow breath she takes, and Bellamy lifts his hand to stroke her hair back from her face. He can't believe she's back, and he's about to lose her again. His fingers tangle in her now relatively clean hair, and he can't help but smile. Clarke's back. "Hey Clarke." he says, stroking her hair gently. "I bet you want to know how things've been here without you. I won't lie, it's been tough. People are traumatized. Nightmares are plaguing the camp." He doesn't mention his own, doesn't mention the way he wakes up bathed in cold sweat every night, yelling out her name. His throat closes up as he tells her about Jasper's nightmares, about Monty's depression and self-mutilation, about Nathan's relationship with his father. He tells her about Lincoln and Octavia, how they're relationship is evolving. He tells her about the first on the Ground pregnancy. He tells her everything with tears running down his face, and in the end he can't hold it in anymore. "Please, Clarke. Wake up. Please, wake up. You have to wake up, because I can't do this without you. I need you by my side again, I can't lead these kids without you. _Please_, Clarke. We need you. _I_ need you." He lets his head fall against her hand again, crying softly, his heart aching for her. He's missed her so much.

"Bellamy?" a soft, raspy voice sounds, and Bellamy's head shoots up. Her eyes are open, looking at him with surprise.

"Clarke?" he says, his voice skipping, and he rises again, taking a seat on the cot beside her, taking her hand firmly in his. "Hey."

"Hi." she whispers.

"How are you feeling?"

"Like shit." she deadpans, and groans when she tries to move.

"How did I get here?" she asks with a raspy voice.

"I found you. You were in a pretty bad shape."

She takes a breath, and her face twitches with pain. "Water." she groans, and Bellamy immediately scrambles for a canteen of water, gently helping her take a sip. "How are you?" she asks, lying back down with a groan.

Bellamy almost bursts out laughing. "How am _I_ doing? Clarke, we weren't sure you were going to live! What does it matter who I am doing?" He strokes her hair again, soothingly. "I need to get your mom now. You need medical help."

He starts to get up, but her hands grab his. "Bellamy?" she says, sounding very vulnerable. "Please don't go."

He leans in despite himself, and kisses her forehead. "I'm not going anywhere." he whispers. "I'll be right back, with help." He leaves the tent, but doesn't have to go far. A group of people is approaching the tent, Abby and Jackson in the lead. "Abby! She's awake!" Abby immediately blasts forward, Jackson following, and the people behind her break into a run too. Octavia, Jasper and Monty are first to arrive, and Kyle and Raven follow close behind. He tells them to wait outside, and that he'll let them in one by one when he can.

He moves back inside, joining Clarke's side as Abby inspects her and sends Jackson to fetch some light food. When she finally has some food in her, he allows Octavia, Raven, Jasper and Monty in first. The four crowd around the cot, exclaiming their happiness of having her back and immediately telling her all about the happenings in the camp. Clarke visibly livens up, listening to the stories they tell her, and holding Bellamy's hand all the way through.

In the end it's Monty who asks the question burning on everyone's minds. "Are you back?" he asks, looking slightly scared for the answer.

Clarke pauses a moment, biting her lip, looking at everyone around her. Bellamy half expects her to say that no, she isn't staying. That she is leaving again after she recovers. But then she squeezes his hand and smiles. "Yeah. I'm staying."

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